Have your kids started school yet? Are you about to start a new school term? Have you already had one of those morning when you think, “There has to be a better way?”
I have shared my love of routines, including routines for kids. But as much as I love structure, I know when to be realistic. It is not always easy to get your kids to actually follow one routine, not to mention one for the morning, afternoon and evening. You may even find yourself turning into a nag, gasp!
Here are my 5 tips to get kids on the road to loving routines (or at least following them).
1. Keep it short
4-5 tasks per routine is the most they should need to tackle. Less tasks keep the routine easy and fast. At a younger age (and maybe even for adults too) more than 5 tasks can seem overwhelming.
2. Practice
From my experience as a teacher in elementary school classrooms, I know that the name of the game is practice. Even if you think that you have practiced enough and you are sick of it, practice some more. The light at the end of the tunnel is knowing that you won’t be leading them every step of the way for long. You are looking ahead to the goal of independence.
For a month or two, I limited our morning commitments so the focus could stay on completing the routine. At the beginning, I did each step with them every single time. By the end of two months I was moving slowly into being a more passive participant; allowing the girls to take more initiative.
via fiskfisk
3. Refer to visuals
As we practiced the routines, they would occasionally forget what came next. We’d head over to the checklist hanging in their room for reference. I tried not to tell them what was next, but instead showed them where they could get the information. This also helped them move towards independence and allowed me to become a less important part of the routine. I didn’t want the routine to become “ask mom what is next.”
4. Explain clear expectations
With independence in mind, I tried to set very clear expectations. For example, I explained making the bed as covering the green fitted sheet. I would say, “We want to hide the green sheet so no one can see it.” Many times, one of my girls would get frustrated if all the wrinkles were not out of the bedspread (and give up before even starting). Honestly, some days go smoother than others, but if the fitted sheet is covered there is a lot of praise.
5. Practice some more
Keep practicing! If you keep your mindset in practice mode it helps when you have those less than stellar days. We all have our days.
Since I am a “nerd” I like to explain it as a completion rate of around 70% being reasonable in preschool/early elementary developmental age. Of course, as they get older, you want the completion rate to increase.
In truth, sometimes we have almost a month-long fall out, where every morning feels like a struggle, but we just keep practicing. Then there are months at a time where things will run smoothly. You may even wake up to find that your 2 and 4-year-old have already made their beds and put away books, (yes it did happen once, and I am daydreaming about the next time!).
Simple kids has a good article about staying realistic with your family’s routines.
What are your tips to keep your kids on task? Is the am a time where you feel stuck or do mornings flow pretty smoothly?
great to know for grandparents too; keep us informed on what routines we should use
when they stay at our house. It is great to see the things they can and want to do
for themselves. Love, Grandpop
Thanks Dad! I didn’t know you read the blog, ha, ha. I am glad the girls’ routines have helped you too!
we are starting up a new routine with my elder son starting school next week – so we are in ‘practice week’ for being ready to leave the house on time. I realise that a lot of families choose not to have tv in the morning as it slows things down, but I have actually found that it works well as an incentive for my elder son- we have to be clean, dressed and bed made before we go downstairs, and my children’s favourite show is on at just the right time to be an incentive to get those upstairs jobs done quickly! then I can concentrate on getting breakfast done and any prep for lunches while it is on.
so I agree with the simplekids post, I tried to ban tv in the morning because my friends and all my web reading suggested that it would be better, but in our case my son (who is autistic) became distracted by other things that were harder for him to end, and that actually hindered our progress in the mornings.
Yes, you definitely have to find what works for you and your family. How great to have found something that works so well for your son. Good luck next week!